Am I enough? I know I ask myself that question often and even multiple times a day. One moment I can be doing great and so positive and confident in everything around me, the next…. The complete opposite. I am a person who also has an extremely hard time opening up to people around me for many reasons. I don’t want to burden them, I don’t want to waste their time, I feel they won’t care? And the biggest one for me is opening up to someone and then all of a sudden they are no longer there.
There are times during the days when I will feel so incredibly sad and alone all I can do is sit in silence or listen to music and just not speak. But then the next minute I can be completely fine. AND I know I am not the only one who struggles with this. There are so many people combatting depression, mental health, no self-confidence… the list goes on. Why is this not talked about more if it is something so many people struggle with? Why is it not something that is more embraced in our world and has more of a support system? I am hoping to use my blog over time to talk about different issues and struggles surrounding mental health and ways I have found to combat or help my moments.
I know from my experience it’s hard to be real. It’s an intimate part of you that you would be sharing with others, and you don’t know how they’ll respond or treat you after you’ve opened up. What if people laugh or ostracize you? That is where I tell myself often enough, “who cares what those people think, because they are not the people who truly care for you.” The people who truly care for you will embrace you and support you in whatever you say or do because they are your parea. Parea is a Greek word for a group of friends/loved ones who gather and connect about life, values, and ideas and nourish and support each other. Who is in your Parea? Who do you feel truly nourishes and supports your soul, your heart, your passions, you as a person? These are the people who you can be real with.
And please be real. Our world and society these days builds up these images of how people should be, how they should look, what they should wear… That so much around me feels unreal now. Don’t put on a façade to be like everyone around you. Break that cycle and mold and be real and human and beautifully unique. Because you are enough. You are more than enough.
These are the words I keep playing and replaying in my head when I feel the sadness and depression setting in. And no they don’t always help. They don’t always make the darkness instantly disappear…. But they are my lifelines and what keeps me going sometimes. And that’s a start. We never will get anywhere if we don’t at least start and keep pushing ourselves. So surround yourself with your parea and get real! Because our world needs realness these days. Xoxo
I have started compiling topics and ideas and even personal experiences I want to start sharing on here about mental health, combatting depression, etc. I just wanted to start out with a brief little post just opening up a little bit to you all. I find definitely during the winter/dark months depression can be the worst and I want to delve into that as well. So I am viewing this as a journey of self-discovery and hopefully a lot of you will want to come along for the ride! This also ties into an earlier blog post I did about finding your kefi, which is the Greek word for your passion of life or what keeps you going during the rough times. Working on finding my kefi has really helped me combat the dark thoughts. So I want to return to that word as well because in all honesty, kefi is probably my most favorite word out there! And as always I’d love to get suggestions, topics you’d like to hear about or things you all have found that help you out personally as well.
All the best!
Photography by Jacob Pace
4 Comments Add yours
It is important to be able to battle negative self talk… there always seems to be those seemingly non-stop negative thoughts that like to distract you from the truth that you are a worthwhile person. We all are… in this age of distraction we need to remember Cindy Lou Who, eh? a persons a person no matter how small…and she was so small, yet was the voice that made all the other voices known! Everyone is important. Be thankful for one thing a day, and then build on this and it will help banish despondency. I look forward to reading more on following blogs. I also like learning new vocabulary! 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ah, Mikaela, good for you! Yes, there’s a social stigma associated with poor mental health, with depression. But, I believe that the more we talk about it, the more people will be able to understand pieces of it and, over time, that stigma will
LikeLiked by 1 person
…dwindle and we will be able to talk about it more openly. It’s the things that dwell in our dark that live through fear and ignorance, I believe. I’m happy for you that you’re finding your voice on that topic here. I found that being able to tell about it allowed me to feel less controlled by it and, I believe, it helps others by showing them that they are not alone. That there is hope, and that’s crucial.
Thank you for this, Mikaela! Very well done! *hugs*
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hi Mikaela: Thanks for taking on mental health. I left this post until I could spend time thinking about depression. This isn’t an easy thing for me to write about, but unfortunately I have a fair amount of experience with clinical depression, anxiety, and self-worth. If you EVER need someone for anything, please let me know. I will answer. Sometimes it is just great to have someone, anyone, to talk to regarding mental health issues. I’d think this is where your parea comes into the picture. However an understanding soul anywhere is sometimes needed.
I had to retire very early from a job I loved due to severe depression and anxiety issues. I was fortunate to work for a progressive University with a Human Resources counsellor who understood the disease. It took years of Psychologic and Psychiatric treatment sessions for me to finally clearly understand how complex depression can be. I was so concerned about others that I had no idea how to live in the moment!
As a side note – you would make a superb professional in either field! Your understanding of “living in the moment”, “self love”, and “love” is far above average, has been learned through interest, and your ability to communicate complex topics to readers is superb.
I would have loved to read your blogs while re-learning to be me!! The title of this piece says so clearly what no one ever communicated clearly to me; “ You Are Enough!” 🙂
What can I say? Your title says all that needs to be said!! We both know acceptance of that statement in our inner self on our down days is far easier said than done. It may not always work, but it is going in my pocket immediately to be used as needed; which is almost every day.
A final point. Folks need to clearly understand that clinical depression is a disease of the brain. Anti-depressants are chemicals that allow normal firing of synapses in our brains. Non-firing is the cause of depression. There are two major chemical pathways. But anyone who is interested should google depression and read about the biochemical properties in a “normal” brain as opposed to an “abnormal” brain.
Through treatment, I was always encouraged to exercise, which as you know helps a lot! But I didn’t until only 5 or 6 months ago. Instead, I sat indoors, in bed or a chair and ate myself into Type 2 Diabetes, an extra bonus 😦
The toughest first step was out the door. Next was exercise which could be a visit to the gym, walking, riding, hiking, or any physical exercise that one likes to do on a regular basis.
You on the other hand, as tough as it was, fought through your issues to arrive at a gym to start to remake yourself. And if I’m allowed to say, you have done a fantastic job of molding yourself into a fine person that I see as a true role model for anyone with struggles. Articulate, interesting, beautiful, and a true teacher with a heart of gold. Yes, I’m learning a few greek words as a bonus!! 🙂
In conclusion: We are Enough! Thanks Mikaela for this post. It is uplifting. I’d love to see more on mental illness in the future.
With respect and love, Xoxoxo