How often do you find yourself supporting and being there for those around you… caring, loving, encouraging your friends, but leaving yourself out of the loop? You give and give and give to all those around you and then there is nothing there for yourself. You’re all worn out and hollow feeling, and so ignore your own needs. I ran across this comic the other day and it really struck home with me about this topic. It showed a little possum telling all his friends how awesome they were, but then he stood in front of a mirror and looked at himself sadly before just walking away. He couldn’t see how awesome he truly was and that might have been because he was always giving and giving. That little comic actually brought me to tears because it is something I find myself struggle with often. It is so easy to give and encourage those around you, but then leave yourself behind because you don’t feel worthy enough or you’re all worn out from always giving. That’s why I’m writing this post. You are so freaking worthy and CANNOT forget about yourself. Self love and care is so important. We have to have our own backs and be in love with ourselves before we can truly love those around us. Remember we can’t pour from an empty glass.
Being in love with yourself is often viewed as negative and egotistical, but the type of self-love I am talking about now is vital for our mental health and confidence. This type of self-love is seeing your awesomeness and being happy with yourself. Not wanting to be like those around you because you are secure in your own person. You know you are special and one of a kind. You don’t let the back talk from those around you and specifically from yourself take you down. In fact you won’t even stand the back talk you give yourself and instead give yourself pep talks and reassurance. You don’t always have your special people around you to support you so you have to become comfortable with being with yourself, and giving yourself the reassurance you need to flourish.
How do we become comfortable with ourselves? I know so many people who rush from one relationship to the next because they are afraid to be alone. Often enough however, they’ve never truly been alone so they don’t know exactly what it’s like to just be with themselves. Maybe they don’t even honestly and deeply know themselves as a singular person either, just what they are like as a couple. Being secure and comfortable to just be your own person for a while is something I think everyone should experience. Find out what truly makes you and just you happy. Take yourself out for dinner or treat yourself to a spa day. Little things that you can purposely do for yourself. One of my favorites is getting outside if I can. During the summer I’ll go sit by the water just me and my dog Melbourne. When I first started going the quiet and being by myself bored me quickly and I wouldn’t stay long, but as the summer progressed I found myself looking forward to those quiet moments. Those moments when I got to just be alone with my thoughts and myself and the water. I stayed as long as I could and grew comfortable in the stillness. I wasn’t truly alone, I had myself and of course Melbourne, who was off chasing bugs usually… I had my thoughts and I was content just being there solo. That has helped me in other aspects of my life too to become more comfortable with myself and be alright doing things without other people around. It could be just small things like getting a coffee where I take myself out and just enjoy the alone time (and of course people watch too.) I’ve learned to love those moments now.
Don’t forget about yourself please. Don’t put yourself down while putting others above you. Surround yourself with those that lift you up and not those that view you as competition or just want you to always give and give and never give back. Now don’t get me wrong it is wonderful to be able to give and bless people if you can, but if you are always giving and never receiving that is unhealthy for you. You burn out, you feel less about yourself, and you feel hollow because you have received nothing in return. We all have experienced this, but it’s finding the strength in ourselves to take ourselves out of that situation. To do what is best for you…. When I’ve dealt with these situations in the past I know I felt very guilty about breaking ties with certain people, but after taking the initiative and putting myself first the freeing feeling was so worth it. So look out for yourself and have your own back. We have to be our own best friends and our strongest allies. We have to be able to tell ourselves that we are awesome and TRULY mean and believe it.
I feel like I am hopping all over with this post, but there are just so many things I want to tap on that pertain to not forgetting about yourself. Be in love with yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Put yourself first sometimes if you have to. Sure it could maybe seem selfish to some people, but the true people and friends in your life will understand you reasoning. I saw this quote circling around social media the other day; it said, “If your circle of friends doesn’t inspire you, you don’t have a circle you have a cage.” Surround yourself with the people that inspire you, support you, uplift you and help you be the best person you can be. Make sure these people help you to not forget about yourself either. They look out for you and you look out for them!
I wanted to share this on Valentine’s Day because this day is all about love and couples and such, but it’s so important to take care of yourself as well. Treat yourself this Valentine’s Day because you deserve it. You can be your own significant other if you don’t have one…. Don’t dwell on the fact you don’t have one, and instead focus on loving yourself and always making sure you are truly happy and content. Take time out of your day for yourself. You are so awesome and don’t ever forget it! Xoxo
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Photo by Michael Holt