Don’t Forget You

How often do you find yourself supporting and being there for those around you… caring, loving, encouraging your friends, but leaving yourself out of the loop? You give and give and give to all those around you and then there is nothing there for yourself. You’re all worn out and hollow feeling, and so ignore your own needs. I ran across this comic the other day and it really struck home with me about this topic. It showed a little possum telling all his friends how awesome they were, but then he stood in front of a mirror and looked at himself sadly before just walking away. He couldn’t see how awesome he truly was and that might have been because he was always giving and giving. That little comic actually brought me to tears because it is something I find myself struggle with often. It is so easy to give and encourage those around you, but then leave yourself behind because you don’t feel worthy enough or you’re all worn out from always giving. That’s why I’m writing this post. You are so freaking worthy and CANNOT forget about yourself. Self love and care is so important. We have to have our own backs and be in love with ourselves before we can truly love those around us. Remember we can’t pour from an empty glass.

Being in love with yourself is often viewed as negative and egotistical, but the type of self-love I am talking about now is vital for our mental health and confidence. This type of self-love is seeing your awesomeness and being happy with yourself. Not wanting to be like those around you because you are secure in your own person. You know you are special and one of a kind. You don’t let the back talk from those around you and specifically from yourself take you down. In fact you won’t even stand the back talk you give yourself and instead give yourself pep talks and reassurance. You don’t always have your special people around you to support you so you have to become comfortable with being with yourself, and giving yourself the reassurance you need to flourish.

How do we become comfortable with ourselves? I know so many people who rush from one relationship to the next because they are afraid to be alone. Often enough however, they’ve never truly been alone so they don’t know exactly what it’s like to just be with themselves. Maybe they don’t even honestly and deeply know themselves as a singular person either, just what they are like as a couple. Being secure and comfortable to just be your own person for a while is something I think everyone should experience. Find out what truly makes you and just you happy. Take yourself out for dinner or treat yourself to a spa day. Little things that you can purposely do for yourself. One of my favorites is getting outside if I can. During the summer I’ll go sit by the water just me and my dog Melbourne. When I first started going the quiet and being by myself bored me quickly and I wouldn’t stay long, but as the summer progressed I found myself looking forward to those quiet moments. Those moments when I got to just be alone with my thoughts and myself and the water. I stayed as long as I could and grew comfortable in the stillness. I wasn’t truly alone, I had myself and of course Melbourne, who was off chasing bugs usually… I had my thoughts and I was content just being there solo. That has helped me in other aspects of my life too to become more comfortable with myself and be alright doing things without other people around. It could be just small things like getting a coffee where I take myself out and just enjoy the alone time (and of course people watch too.) I’ve learned to love those moments now.

Don’t forget about yourself please. Don’t put yourself down while putting others above you. Surround yourself with those that lift you up and not those that view you as competition or just want you to always give and give and never give back. Now don’t get me wrong it is wonderful to be able to give and bless people if you can, but if you are always giving and never receiving that is unhealthy for you. You burn out, you feel less about yourself, and you feel hollow because you have received nothing in return. We all have experienced this, but it’s finding the strength in ourselves to take ourselves out of that situation. To do what is best for you…. When I’ve dealt with these situations in the past I know I felt very guilty about breaking ties with certain people, but after taking the initiative and putting myself first the freeing feeling was so worth it. So look out for yourself and have your own back. We have to be our own best friends and our strongest allies. We have to be able to tell ourselves that we are awesome and TRULY mean and believe it.

I feel like I am hopping all over with this post, but there are just so many things I want to tap on that pertain to not forgetting about yourself. Be in love with yourself and be comfortable with yourself. Put yourself first sometimes if you have to. Sure it could maybe seem selfish to some people, but the true people and friends in your life will understand you reasoning. I saw this quote circling around social media the other day; it said, “If your circle of friends doesn’t inspire you, you don’t have a circle you have a cage.” Surround yourself with the people that inspire you, support you, uplift you and help you be the best person you can be. Make sure these people help you to not forget about yourself either. They look out for you and you look out for them!

I wanted to share this on Valentine’s Day because this day is all about love and couples and such, but it’s so important to take care of yourself as well. Treat yourself this Valentine’s Day because you deserve it. You can be your own significant other if you don’t have one…. Don’t dwell on the fact you don’t have one, and instead focus on loving yourself and always making sure you are truly happy and content. Take time out of your day for yourself. You are so awesome and don’t ever forget it! Xoxo

 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

S’Agapo

Photo by Michael Holt 

17 Comments Add yours

  1. wmeberle says:

    You’ve got lots of great thoughts here, Mikaela, I think. A lot of important things to remember and put into practice 🙂 There are so many adages, aphorisms, and proverbs related to community, solitude, and relationships, I find it easy to slip into the habit of spewing them as they fall into my head, so I’ll try to avoid them 😀

    Some of us find it easier to embrace that alone time and others find it a chore. And some find it a challenge to be with people and others don’t feel comfortable without a gang of friends around them. As you say, Mikaela, we need to find that balance, to seek out those uncomfortable situations so that we can become comfortable with them, as you have done. For some of us, that alone time is terrifying because we don’t have other things to distract our mind from looking at ourselves. Perhaps that is a sign that we need that time even more. If we don’t find a way to get comfortable with ourselves, how can we expect anyone else to get close to use. I’m not talking about people who are friendly, I mean someone who knows the us who lives inside.

    Even though I have always felt more comfortable being by myself than I did in a group, I know that having only one dimension of a relationship is a bad situation to be in. I’m still working on enjoying a social setting. I have few real friends but I can be friendly with anyone. But while that can be engaging, it isn’t the same substance as a close friendship or romantic relationship. I have also learned that being comfortable being alone is a very different thing from loving one’s self, that’s a different and critical exercise. Being alone and unhappy with who you are, as I have been in the past, is not at all healthy.

    Seeking to love ourselves and be comfortable with ourselves is an important aspect of learning to live, I think. It’s going to happen to all of us at some point and it’s better to be learn that lesson before we have no choice but to learn it.

    Thank you for these thoughts, Mikaela. Understanding the various aspects of what you’re saying is important to finding a happier life, I believe. I wish you well on your journey, even though it will be rocky at times.

    *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mjaquette says:

      Thank you so much William!!! This comment was so beautiful. I really appreciate it! Xoxoxo you’re awesome!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. wmeberle says:

        Thank you, Mikaela, it’s kind of you to say that! *hugs*

        Liked by 1 person

  2. GrandFashLife says:

    I am completely in love with this post! I am this way, I give and give but can never give to me and I am working on that! I want to be able to pour love into myself but I know that I am capable and will surely begin to take time for a little self love and care everyday until it becomes a normal routine for me.

    Thank you for sharing!
    Erica Raquel
    https://www.grandfashlife.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mjaquette says:

      Thank you so much girl!!! xoxox Yes I’m the same way… You are so amazing xoxoxo sending you lots of love!

      Like

  3. Michelle Molenaar says:

    You can’t poir from an empty glass.
    That is so perfect.
    I’ve been a nurse for 20 years. I’m a natural empath. I allow myself to cry with patients and families. I give the real human, me.
    But that comes at a high price.
    It took me so long to realize that self-care is mandatory, or you will become that empty glass.
    This has been a struggle even tho I now know the importance. I’m a mother to 5, wife to 1, and I always feel immense guilt if I do something for myself outside of the home. Anything that takes me from them makes me feel guilty to the point of not being able to enjoy myself and defeating the whole idea!
    It’s a process that I’m working on. It’s tough.
    Thank you for your words. I hope others will learn now and not wait until they are midlife as I am.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mjaquette says:

      Aw thank you so much girl for being so real! You are incredible xoxo self care and love is so freaking important and you deserve ALL the love! Xoxoxo

      Like

  4. I think it’s crucial to learn how to put ourselves first as well. Love yourself, take care of yourself, appreciate the moments when you are alone. No one teaches you about self-acceptance or self-love so this is our mission as long as we live on this earth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mjaquette says:

      Yes yes yes girl to all of this! Xoxoxo

      Like

  5. Laura says:

    You have expressed yourself beautifully. Putting yourself first is super important because really if you only care about other people it takes all your energy away! We need to start practising self-compassion and understanding. We need to become aware of our emotions and what our body, mind and soul truly needs x
    Laura / https://laustworld.blogspot.com/

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mjaquette says:

      Yes exactly!!! Thank you so much love!

      Like

  6. hauntedhistoryjaunts says:

    Great post! You have to love yourself first and foremost!

    http://Www.hauntedhistoryjaunts.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mjaquette says:

      Yes you do!! Thank you!! Xoxoxo

      Like

  7. I totally agree with everything you’ve written. We are the most important things in our lives and we need to take the time to look after ourselves a bit more.

    Georgia – https://britvoyage.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mjaquette says:

      Yes we do!! Xoxoxo

      Like

  8. Gerard Potvin says:

    We cannot pour from an empty glass. So very true. I believe there is a reason that when I let myself actually turn off for the evening, is because I gave all of myself to everyone and everything during the day. Not physically exhausted, but emotionally exhausted. I take pride in giving joy to everyone else, as that in itself brings me joy. At what cost though? Loving oneself is so very important, and been in relationships where the other person didnt know how to self love. You can’t make them do it, it is all within themselves. So as a fixer, that is a tough thing to deal with. Thank you once againg for sharing your wisdom and insight.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. mjaquette says:

      Yes I can’t agree more with you!!! Thank you! Xo

      Liked by 1 person

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