Often enough I hear people talk about how they were just super caring and supportive to certain people and then just ended up getting hurt in the process. Honestly I hear this a lot. The person was blindsided by the other person’s actions. Then the people hurt get mad and start saying things like they wish they could stop caring or they need to stop caring so much. I have often enough been blindsided by other’s actions because I am a caring person. I care deeply and like to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, so when someone returns my caring with negativity I get hurt badly. Instead though of closing off I have learned over time to brush it off and get back up. My parents always raised us to get back up and keep trying. Be resilient and try again. You can take, however much time you need to heal and recoup just as long as you dust off and get right back up. So I just really really wanted to share that it’s okay to care, it’s okay to even care too much…. Love is incredible and we feel incredible getting to love others. Sure its crappy when we get treated badly back, but we need to remember that isn’t on us. That isn’t our fault, we are meant to care and be there for others even if it’s in the smallest ways.
I struggle sometimes with this idea of still just caring a lot for everyone even if you’re not always treated well back. I mean everyone does. I struggle with that fine line of wanting to care and being loving to everyone that crosses my path, but still care about myself and not allowing myself to be walked over or taken down a notch for being kind. There is definitely a fine line there and one that I spend a lot of time thinking about. There is so much grey area when it comes to this. I think in the end you can still care incredibly for others as well as caring so deeply for yourself. You can do both, because when you truly care for yourself and proudly show you love yourself and are secure in your person, then the other people around you will be drawn to that. There is something so magical about a person that is secure in themselves, but still so giving and caring. You can still care and be there for others without letting yourself be walked on. How can you do that though?
Saying no to people sometimes can be form of caring….. That might seem strange and in the moment the person could very well get mad at you, but if you feel that the action is not right for you or the other person in the long run and that doing something else that is better for the both of you would be the right way to go, then follow your gut. Trust that gut feeling you have if you don’t feel the action would be beneficial for either of you, if it makes you nervous or stressed then it is probably best to avoid. There is that feeling you get when you truly care and feel good about what is going on, that is the feeling to search for. That is the feeling to try and attain.
We will all get hurt along the road for caring, but I do honestly believe that caring too much should not be viewed negatively. Our world needs caring people, our world needs love, and people who want to be there for others. There will always be that one naysayer or negative person, but truly there will be so many more positive souls and appreciative people. Don’t let the one no stop you from seeing all the thousands of yeses. The positives will weight out the negatives and sometimes we have to search those out a bit more than we normally do, but they are there, and they are worth it. You just have to go on the journey of life and not let those bad experiences change you. Be willing to be open and care. Care as much as you want because in the end… you should never second-guess the love you are sharing. The real people will notice and appreciate and love on you right back.
Photo by Michael Holt