Check In With Yourself

Honest check in….. This summer hasn’t been the smoothest for me and it’s not even over yet! Lots of ups and downs and for me there where a couple BIG downs that seemed to overshadow the ups. There are some days when I just want to sit down and cry, or fast forward a bit in the future to when I feel better and more back to myself. The two biggest lows for me were losing my grandma and then my cat, both in my life for all of it and then eighteen years of it. So I have been processing through loss too, loss and grief. I wanted to share this post as just a reminder to everyone, as well as myself, that we need to check in with ourselves. We need to every once in a while see if we need a break, or hug, or something else. AND we need to know that our journey through healing is OUR journey and we can take as long as we need to process everything. Nobody can rush you on your journey. Feel your pain and emotions, and then let it go in your own time.

One way that helps me feel better or process through the emotions a bit better is taking a pause. Not stopping, no just a pause from some of the craziness of my day. Take yourself out of situations that might be over stimulating you. For me this is usually getting outside if I can or staying home and playing music. Allow yourself to relive memories. Allow yourself to work through the emotions you are feeling. If you need to cry, then cry. If you need to sing or scream or lie down do it. Do whatever you feel would make you feel better. I love reliving my favorite memories that I have with both my grandma and kitty. Sometimes it really hurts and sometimes it is exactly what I need in the moment. That happy story and highlight I will always have with me. Remember the love and moments you shared and how they shaped your life and helped make you the way you are today.

NEWS FLASH- I wrote in the first paragraph that you can take as long as you need on your journey of recovery. Your journey of healing is not a race. It’s not who can be better first, or who can be all healed the fastest, no we should take the time to fully feel every aspect of the journey. Every memory, every feeling, every emotion… etc. We watch the pieces come back together slowly and naturally, not rushed and sloppily. So if someone asks how you are doing answer honestly. Answer however you want to, stay true to yourself and don’t try to patch up quickly for someone else’s convenience. It’s okay to not always be okay. You don’t have to delve deeply into your back story with others, no you can just simply say you aren’t doing well, but are slowly healing and processing at your own pace.

It’s okay to ask for help, it’s okay to ask for even just a hug or someone to sit by you. The people who care about you and are offering you love and support are there for just that. Use that resource… You are not alone. Sometimes we feel like we are stranded on a deserted island in the middle of the sea of our emotions alone, but often enough we just don’t see the rope being thrown our way. There are those helping hands, those comforting arms and ears to listen so use them if you need to. It is often very comforting talking through feelings, emotions, processing what is going on in our brain. Holding it all in all the time definitely isn’t the healthiest. We don’t want to burst, but if we do in the end that is okay too. Cry it out and know it is part of the journey of life.

ALSO know everyone processes differently. No one is going to feel or heal exactly like you do. One way might work for someone and then not work for someone else. Life isn’t a cookie cutter and no one is exactly the same so a tried and true method that might work for someone isn’t going to work for everyone out there. So be open to trying new options or being there for others in a way that is different to you. Don’t be afraid to ask people to be there for you in a specific way that you know will help you and always be open and patient with other’s if they ask you to be there for them in a specific way as well.

This post is pretty much a reminder to me and hopefully helpful to you all as well. Check in with yourself and take all the time you need to process through your emotions. It will be almost like a roller coaster ride for a while. There will be good and amazing days and then there will be days that plummet and leave you feeling even worse than before. Time will heal the wounds, time will smooth out the path for you and life will get easier slowly and surely. Just take a deep breath, take it a day at a time, and know you are not alone.

S’Agapo

Photo by Stephan Bullard