It is not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary. It’s okay to say no, walk away, cancel plans, take a break, love yourself, change your mind. You need to be true to YOURSELF!
Being a giver and a people pleaser can be so satisfying sometimes! Making other’s happy, easing some nerves, being there for people when they most need it… These are all wonderful things that can be so rewarding to a person who really cares about others. I know from experience. I love to be there for other’s, help in any way I can… etc. BUT there comes a point though when you need to remember to take care of yourself as well. Do not become a rug for other’s to walk on just so their feet don’t get wet. Do not give up who you are and your passion and spark for life just to appease those around you. It’s not our job in the long run to be everything for everyone. We physically can’t be everything. We will quickly burn out if we try… If we burn our candle on both ends, in the middle… the whole candle… we will be gone, a hollow shell of a once vibrant person. I am not saying don’t be there for others, I am not saying shut people out, I am not saying become egotistical… I am saying you do not have to run after people to prove your importance. Sometimes you just have to be done and focus on what makes you happy and thrive.
Know your worth! Your value is found when you become aware of how worthy you are and what’s really worthy of your energy. When you take that step back and decide to be a bit selfish, focus on yourself, and get to really know yourself. It’s okay to take that step back. It’s okay to maybe not have as much of a presence as you did before… It’s okay to stand up for yourself finally and say no.
I found loving certain people from afar is way more healthy for me than always bending over backwards for them. I found saying no to certain things because I didn’t want to do those things in the end was what was healthy for me. I still care and I still love people so much. I still am there for others and do my best to help out in any way I can…. but I am selfish about my time now. I’m selfish about my energy…. and that’s not a bad thing.
Use your time wisely! We cannot get time back. Use your time to achieve your dreams and goals. Those aspirations you have your heart set on! Do what sets your soul on fire. See the world! No dream is too large if you set your heart and mind to it and achieve it. Be genuinely happy with your life. Life is way too short to be burnt out and struggling. Life is way too short to be stretching yourself thin pleasing everyone around you. I’ve always been told the people that are meant to be in your life will be there no matter what, rain or shine…. the people who fade away or leave just wanted to use you for their own gain. Remember the real ones always stick around. Learn to discern and be able to identify real. Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it takes the hard times to show the real diamonds, but work on that. Work on differentiating the differences.
Buddha once said, “In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”
Learn that letting go isn’t always a bad thing! Often enough it’s not a bad thing at all… sometimes it’s harder to see the bigger picture. Especially in the moment or the process it’s extremely difficult, but if we take that step back we will see clearly.
I wanted to share these 12 steps to self care as well because they definitely ring true with this post.
- If it feels wrong, don’t do it.
- Say exactly what you mean.
- Don’t be a people pleaser.
- Trust your instincts
- Never speak bad of yourself.
- Never be afraid to say no.
- Never give up on your dreams.
- Don’t be afraid to say yes.
- Be kind to yourself.
- Let go of what you can’t control.
- Stay away from drama and negativity.
These all seem so easy and straight forward, but often enough can be so hard to do…. Don’t put yourself second. Don’t let other’s make you feel or think that you have to put yourself second after them. Don’t be second. You deserve the best. You deserve love. You deserve respect…. And if taking a step back from certain people, certain situations is what is going to get you those things then do that, and no that is not a bad thing. You are being selfish to protect yourself. Your vibes, your light, your soul, your happiness…. Never apologize for being unapologetically yourself. You are so worthy of everything! Know your worth, be clear about what you deserve and be selfish. That’s a good thing!